WHY YOU SHOULD FLUSH 90% OF YOUR TO-DO LIST DOWN THE TOILET?

It’s easy to confuse abundance with blessing, especially in our work life. But sometimes abundance is just another word for burden. And it’s crucial for our success and satisfaction that we learn to spot the difference.

More opportunities cross my desk every day than I can manage, and I bet it’s the same for you, even if you don’t always realize it. We face a constant temptation in life to take on more than we can handle. We just don’t have the bandwidth. But it’s hard to let an opportunity go, isn’t it? 

Dismantling the "yes bomb"

Each invitation, pitch, and request feels special, seems flattering, and promises more money, fun, or significance than we currently have. It’s just too good to pass up, we rationalize - forgetting that we’ve already excused several other yeses using the very same logic. It’s even harder to reject demands from employers, clients, and others, even when we know we can’t manage them all.

We figure we’ll have to squeeze the new demand into the margin someplace, unaware that all our yeses are building a bomb that will eventually make casualties of our health, job performance, family life, and more. “There are far more activities and opportunities in the world than we have time and resources to invest in, and although many of them may be good, or even very good, the fact is that most are trivial and few are vital” says Greg McKeown in his new book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less.

That’s the crucial difference between blessing and burden. We can fill our time with very good things and end up saddled, straddled, and stressed. That’s because good things might still be trivial. As McKeown shows, Essentialism is a lifestyle focused on discerning the difference between the “many trivial” and the “vital few.” Essentialists are committed to the vital few in every circumstance they can manage.

The benefits include not only lower stress, but the satisfaction of developing real excellence and making a vital contribution through our callings. McKeown numbers seven realities every essentialist knows:

1. The power of choice. When we forget we have the power of choice, we allow others to determine what fills our time instead of ourselves. Essentialists remain empowered by choice to determine what they do and don’t do with their time.

2. The momentum of focus. For every ten things Nonessentialists do, Essentialists do one. Instead of diffusing their energy, they focus it and gain momentum to make more impact than they otherwise could. When we complain about being “spread too thin” at work, this is a sure sign we need to shed tasks and train our focus.

3. The importance of tradeoffs. To do one thing is to miss out on others - and maybe even essential things. The more we commit to doing, the more strained our schedules for the the things that are truly important, including family, rest, and play. Essentialists weigh every opportunity against the potential tradeoffs.

4. The value of extreme criteria. Essentialists don’t consider the minimum requirements for a yes. They use extreme criteria: Is this exactly what I want? I’m I ideal for this opportunity? As McKeown says, “If it isn’t a clear yes, then it’s a clear no.”

5. The role of the journalist. The role of a journalist is not to regurgitate facts, but to explain the meaning of those facts. Essentialists act as journalists of their own experience. Instead of allowing others to determine what matters and why, Essentialists make that determination for themselves.

6. The power of clarity. According to McKeown, Essentialists pass on about 90 percent of opportunities. If we are clear on what we do, we can filter out a thousand things we shouldn’t. To gain this clarity requires asking hard questions, making difficult tradeoffs, and exercising self-discipline. And Essentialists know it’s totally worth investing in the 10 percent of opportunities that make sense for them.

7. The liberating possibility of no. Saying no to the many trivial requests, Essentialists are really saying yes to what matters most in their lives: their faith, their family, their health, their calling.

To be successful, satisfied, fulfilled people, according to McKeown, we need to save our energy and creativity for just a few essential opportunities and pass on all the rest. That will mean some hard choices, but we’re tricking ourselves to think burdening ourselves with superfluous yeses will make our life more comfortable. We’ll just shortchange the important activities and people in our lives.

What’s truly essential in your life right now and what extraneous activities do you need to limit today? 

WHY YOU SHOULDN’T BOTHER MAKING NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS!

New Year’s resolutions are as old as time, but that doesn’t mean they’re very effective.

About billions usually make New Year’s resolutions, and another 50 million sometimes do, according to research by the University of Michigan.

The same research says most can of us stick it out a few weeks, but after six months fewer than half are still going. Only 8% of us are actually successful. Some industries even count on us giving up. Fitness centers, for instance, sell year-long contracts knowing most of us won’t actually show up more than a few times. Their business model depends on most members getting distracted, overwhelmed, or uninterested.

This is about much more than numbers, of course. It’s about people’s dreams. Most New Year’s resolutions are about health, wealth, relationships, or personal development. In other words, they’re about the kind of things that matter most to us.

I’m sure you have your own personal stories of starting the New Year strong only to get busy, fall behind, and eventually lose motivation. It’s happened to me. And it’s exactly why I don’t bother making New Year’s resolutions anymore, at least not the usual kind.

How to make resolutions that really stick

Some dreams are just too important to entrust to a faulty system. Instead, I utilize a proven goal-setting process that incorporates safeguards for many of the things that cause typical resolutions to fail. It’s taken me years to develop this process, and I’ve seen it work not only in my own life, but also in the lives of countless people with whom I’ve shared it.

Some people will say that the best way to make our resolutions stick is to only pick one or two for the year. But that’s leaving too much on the table for me, and probably a lot of you too. We’re talking about the things that matter most, right? Why leave so many things undone and miss so many opportunities to grow? Instead of cutting back, we just need to bone up on a system that actually works.

Life’s too short for typical New Year’s resolutions that are almost guaranteed to fail. It’s time to make progress toward the things that matter most.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM THIS YEAR’S FAILURES

People often look at my success and assume I haven’t had any failures. Excuse me while I laugh. Have you seen my recent blooper reel?

The truth is that I have experienced plenty of failure, and many are a lot worse than a flubbed line. I just don’t usually publicize them.

Here are three failures, just from this year:

1- Batch releasing my posts - I thought people would love this. They could binge-listen to my show, just like Netflix, right? As it turns out, not so much. Yes, I had a few hundred fans do this, but it’s barely worth the effort. I doubt it is something I will continue.

2- Best Year Ever launch video - I use one of the best video app on the planet. But sometimes you have no time to launch video for 10 days or more. Just the same with my posts.

3- Best Year Ever Leaders Edition - My overall launch has been hugely successful. I literally have doubled my services from last year. However, one piece never got off the ground at all.

I shot three videos for a special Leaders Edition, but I wasn’t happy with the results, so I scrapped them. I then rebuilt the entire course from the ground up, but I still wasn’t happy with the final product, so I scrapped that, too.

Then were dozens of other mistakes, too, most of which I recovered from. But still, across the board, these mistakes represented a significant negative impact on my business - not only in expense and burden on my team, but also in lost revenue.

If you’ve ever had a product slip or not ship at all, you know what a massive face-palm it can be. But still, in spite of these failures - or maybe because of them - I've managed to double my revenues and profit for the year.

But while failure, mistakes, and bloopers are inevitable for all of us, we can choose to respond in ways that help us on the road to success. Here are six steps for making sure your failures move you forward.

1- Acknowledge the failure - There’s no point avoiding the obvious. The first step for processing failure is to admit our initiative, product, or promotion just didn’t work. We have to be willing to say, “Now that was a failure”. Rather than defending it, there’s enormous freedom in simply declaring it.

2- Take responsibility for it - More then merely acknowledging it, we need to own up to our part in the failure. Blaming outside forces, including other people, might cushion the blow to our ego, but it won’t let us get beyond what went wrong or what was missing. More importantly, it won’t move us forward.

3- Mourn it (if necessary) - Some mistakes are simple things we can blow off - like thirty-seven takes on a simple video. (I’m not making that up.) But others are major emotional letdowns. There’s nothing wrong with being real in the midst of a disappointment. Grieving is often a natural part of helping us get beyond a setback.

4- Learn from it - Once we’ve faced our failures for what they are, we can begin to analyze them for what went wrong and why. There’s learning in the middle of every letdown. For example, I’ve gone over the Leaders Edition failure in my head a dozen times and now see several things I will do differently next year. I can hardly wait to get started!

5- Adjust your behavior - Learning leads to action. Whether it’s retrying a video take in a different way or reworking a major product, once we learn from our mistakes we can act in ways that minimize or even leapfrog those problems going forward. In this sense failure always serves to make us better - if we allow it.

6- Enter into the next project - Failure is part of life. But so is success. It just takes working through our setbacks and staying on the path. A process like this can reframe our failures so we see them as practice - and even the vital preparation - for success. So what are you waiting for? Like I say in the blooper reel, a lot, “Let’s try that again”.

Failure is inevitable, but we can choose to respond in ways that accelerate our journey to success. In other words, if at first you don’t succeed … you’re normal. But - and this is big - we don’t have to be defined by our failures. We can work through them, get past them, and let them fuel our eventual success.

What setbacks have you experienced recently and what have you learned from them?

THE POWER OF BELIEF

Just as what we believe with great intensity can destroy our life, so it can also save it - and vice versa.

I once read a very interesting story in a Dr. Lair Ribeiro's book. It was about a beggar in the United States called Charles Harris: "One Friday afternoon, Charles was looking for a place to shelter himself during the night. He found, in a railway station, in an open carriage and entered. As he closed the door, he realized he was in trouble, literally, for it was a refrigerator wagon! He tried to open the door, but there was no way he could do it from inside. He started feeling cold. Found a pilot pen on the floor, used to mark the meat, and began to describe his sensations on the wall of the wagon. He felt his hands freezing, his teeth creaking with cold, and he began to wonder what it would be like on Monday when they found hi body lifeless. He was experiencing the effects of the gradual freezing of his body. It was when, without strength to continue, he collapsed on the floor."

However, this story has a fundamental detail: the wagon was in maintenance that weekend, which means it was off! At no time has the temperature dropped to less than 10° C. This is the power of belief, the explanation for what happens in our lives.

Gradually we are establishing a belief system that directs our thoughts. Thinking generates behavior, which generates consistent action, which generates positive habits, which generate results, which generate new beliefs, thus generating new thoughts...

Here is the cycle of success! If you think you are a winner, you should think like a winner, and then you will behave such as one. As a result, your actions and attitudes will be winning, generating the positive result that will make you believe that you are truly a winner, and so you will think as a winner with a lot more intensity, and then ... Can you see where that will end? Just as what we believe with great intensity can destroy our life, so it can also save it - and vice versa.

It's up to you to decide on what to believe.

I hope to meet you on the road to success. If you need any little help, count on me.

FOUR WAYS TO BEAT THE RESISTANCE AND REACH YOUR GOALS IN 2018

It’s about that time you overcame what's holding you back. Based on the statistics, a large percentage of people who made New Year’s resolutions are thinking about throwing in the towel. Some already have.

According to research from the University of Scranton, nearly 4 out of 10 people quit their resolutions before reaching the month of December. Even more will fall off after that. But what about you?

If you’re like most people, you have goals for your health, relationships, faith, wealth, or personal development. These are the things that matter most to us, and yet it can be so easy to start with the best of intentions and flame out after a few weeks.

What’s Stopping You? The Resistance

Life happens. Given all our personal and professional demands, it’s no wonder we get distracted, feel overwhelmed, or find ourselves wrestling along the way with doubt, discouragement, even fear. But what if we didn’t let all of those demands and distractions have the last word? Since our goals represent the things that matter most to us, shouldn’t we fight for them? Aren’t our greatest hopes worth overcoming the resistance?

The person who popularized the term resistance for what we’re talking about here was Steven Pressfield in The War of Art. It’s been a pivotal book for me. In fact, I recently listed it as one of the 30 best business books I’ve ever read. Pressfield says that we encounter the resistance any time we try doing something important. It could be improving our health, writing a book, reaching a financial milestone, getting our inbox to zero - we’ve all felt it a hundred times. I’ve already felt it this morning - twice.

But there are tactics we can employ to beat the resistance and accomplish the things that matter most to us. I've picked four of the best ones:

1- Stay connected to your why - I’ve been teaching this tactic for a while because it’s the core of any important goal. Let’s face it, unless a goal is motivated by something big, it’s just another way to kill time.

When we hit the wall, when you feel the resistance, the answer is to remember why you wanted to go over it to begin with. If you goal is about improving your marriage, get reconnected to what that would mean for you and your spouse. If it’s about losing thirty pounds by the middle of the year, remember what that will mean for your energy and long-term health.

We have to imagine our desired outcomes and stay emotionally connected to them. Our dreams deserve at least that much, don’t they?

2- Keep your negative emotions at arm’s length - While we need to stay emotionally connected to our why, we need to push any negative emotions we experience to the side. We don’t have to shut them down. In fact, we shouldn’t - they can be useful. But we shouldn’t let them dominate.

I watched a documentary about Valery Rozov, a BASE jumper who leapt from the face of Everest. It was the highest base jump in history. But as cool as the jump was, what stayed with me was Rozov’s approach to fear. He says that he feels several emotions that we usually call fear, but he separates himself from them, minimizes them, and then jumps anyway. Rozov is in control, not his emotions.

Pressfield says that the resistance is always internal. It’s not the facts of the case that are the problem, but how we emotionally respond.

Fear, doubt, disappointment, feeling overwhelmed - we may experience these emotions, but we don’t have to let them dictate our actions. We can notice them for what they are, and then just keep moving forward.

3- Find someone who’s already done it - Since the resistance we feel is internal, many obstacles we face to our goals are just in our heads. If we can see the possibility of pulling it off, we can usually pull it off ourselves.

I’ve written before about the pathbreaking accomplishments of Roger Bannister and Chuck Yeager. Here’s another amazing example. In the middle 1980s skateboarder Mike McGill did the first ever 540-degree aerial turn in his sport. No one thought it could be done, but once McGill finally did the “McTwist,” everyone started doing it.

And once McGill paved the way, others pushed it even further. Tony Hawk did the first-ever 720-degree turn. And then in 2012 Tom Schaar - at just twelve years old - did the first ever 1080. That’s three full rotations in the air! “It was the hardest trick I’ve ever done, but it was easier than I thought,” Schaar told ESPN.

Overcoming the barrier once means that overcoming it again - and doing even more - becomes imaginable, maybe even inevitable. Tactically, what that means is that we should find people who’ve done what want to do or can show us how. If we can see the road, we can walk it.

4- Get the help you need - I don’t know why we make this one so hard. A goal represents new ground, new territory. That means you won’t know how to traverse it. That reality is actually essential to establish compelling goals. Once you have a reason, the resources will start to materialize. But sometimes we feel like we have to go it alone. Why?

Resources are more than time, talent, and money. Information, experience, and training are also important. And you can buy those - at least indirectly. I decided on some significant health-related goals for myself recently. I’ve been running for years, but I knew that running alone wouldn’t get me where I wanted to go.

I also knew that I didn’t want to waste a lot of time trying to figure it out. The delay would possibly dampen my spirits. So I got a personal trainer who developed a plan for me and is helping me, day by day, reach my goals. Sometimes all we need to overcome the resistance is a hand. Why fly solo when the right copilot can get us to our destination?

Millions of us start the year with high hopes, but lose altitude within weeks. We don’t have to join that number. Our goals are too important to let the inertia and difficulties of life stop us. The resistance is real. But we can overcome it, instead of letting it overcome us.

Then we can look back at the hardest thing we’ve ever done and say it was easier than we thought.

What could happen in your life if you could punch through the resistance and make it happen in 2018?